[Ed. Note--This entry has been edited to comply with the one-dick-joke-per-post rule.]Yeah, so remember how I said that I was going to go to Joe’s Bar and Grill today, on the advice of a magazine article? Well I did, and…I think I’m in love.
Oh, not with the mini-burgers, which are four for seven bucks, have a big slab of smoked gouda on them, and are, as nearly as I can tell, seasoned with pure dopamine. No, I could live without them–if I had to, although I’m not sure you could call it living–I could even live without the two-dollar-extra french fries, tossed with raw garlic, parsley, kosher salt and fresh ground black pepper.
What I will never forget, the image I will carry with me until the day I die, is my first sight of the “macaroni and cheese”. Eat & Drink Austin described it thus:
a combination of a classic béchamel sauce blended with five cheeses, suffused with gourmet franks, and topped with Italian breadcrumbs
The thing is, it’s better than that. First of all, it’s not even macaroni. It’s shells. And you normally think of macaroni and cheese as a side. This is an entree. It’s more expensive than the burgers. It’s $7.50. It’s like a fucking pound of macaroni with sliced sausages thrown in. It’s..It’s…I would have smeared it on my dick and made sweet, sweet love to it, but I know I would have just thrown a disk trying to lick the stuff off my own penis. That’s how good it was. I cried a little at the end.
Ten things to do instead of smoking a cigarette
10. Smoke some weed instead.
9. Drink some mushroom tea.
8. Go see the hippie trail of lights at 38th & Guadalupe, behind the Groovy Lube.
7. Watch the daily show.
6. Eat some macaroni.
5. Smoke some more weed.
4. Blog.
3. Think about how bad cancer sucks.
2. *** ***. *** ** *** ** *** **** * beer ***, **** ** * 6″ ****. ****: **** Important–******** ** throw *** *** ****.
1. Pass out and go to sleep.
